i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
