Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
