marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize