sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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