so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
