I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
