Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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