i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
