Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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