I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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