Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
