is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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