Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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