So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
