You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
