Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
