so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
