Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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