The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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