"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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