I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
