In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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