it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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