Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
