She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
