Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
