that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
