I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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