Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
