Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she pinky promised me she was 18
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
