belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
