Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
