She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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