piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
