Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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