just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
