Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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