I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I could fuck to npr.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
