Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
