it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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