I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
