I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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