It's just like the Real World with babies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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