You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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