Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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