Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
