do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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