She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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