Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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