Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
