I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
