remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
