You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize