I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
