Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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