The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
