In the future we'll all be gay
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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