I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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