I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
